Wishful Dreaming
by Loie
Summary: One-shot. Bella's dream the night before Edward takes her to the meadow in Twilight. The dream corresponds with Claire De Lune as I heard it. Full summary/explanation inside. Rated T just in case.


**A/W: OK, here's the deal. This is what I came up with when I was half out of my mind with altitude sickness in the Rockies, listening to Claire De Lune on my ipod trying to calm myself. It didn't work. Instead, I came up with this. It's Bella's dream the night before Edward takes her to the meadow in Twilight. The dream's events correspond to Claire De Lune, or at least what I thought of on that awful night. So it might be a little strange. I wish I could tell you exactly what parts of the composition go in what part of the dream, but I'm not so musically inclined and they're in chronological order, so hopefully you'll figure it out. So, that's my warning/explanation. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters, but I can make them do whatever I want.**

Sleep evaded me.

I stared up at the ceiling of my bedroom, counting the popcorn speckles, hoping that they would be as effective as sheep. They weren't.

I sighed and turned on my side to my alarm clock. It told me it was 12:30. I frowned to myself. I hadn't even yawned once yet tonight. That was not a good sign.

My mind was racing despite the late hour. The reason it was racing made me so embarrassed that I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks just thinking about it. It was ridiculous, really. I had no reason to feel this keyed up.

Yes I did, my racing heart told me. You are going to spend the whole day with Edward Cullen tomorrow. Alone.

The very thought made me shiver with delight. How could I be so lucky? What did he see in me—plain, little, boring old Bella Swan? I knew I was nothing special. This, of course, was completely opposite from describing Edward. He looked like a Greek god and a marble sculpture of an angel rolled into one. He was perfect in every way.

I groaned. I couldn't be thinking these things. It wasn't like that with me and Edward. Unfortunately, I was sure there was no romantic incentive in our day together. Unfortunately. It was wrong to fantasize.

Thirty minutes later, I decided to take action. I couldn't have circles under my eyes and be drowsy all day tomorrow. No, I had to get some sleep. I did not want to make a fool of myself in front of Edward because I was too tired to think straight.

I heaved myself out of bed and fumbled to find the switch to turn on my bedside lamp. The lamp illuminated the general figures in my room, but did not do much else. I tripped on a shoe as I edged over to my desk where my CD player and collection sat next to the computer. I knew exactly what I was looking for—Debussy's collection of piano compositions. I couldn't get it out of my head that Edward also loved Claire De Lune. That made him even more perfect. I smiled to myself, lost in the memory.

I lay back down and pulled the blankets up to my chin. My fingers found the raised triangle and turned the volume dial to maximum. My ears were flooded with the calming, peaceful notes of Claire De Lune. After listening to it the third time and starting on the fourth, I could feel my eyelids droop. I smiled. I would get some sleep and tomorrow I would be with Edward. I sighed contently and lost myself in the music…

**XXXX**

I woke up with Debussy still playing in my ears. The sun was shining and light poured into my room. Even without the prospect of my outing with Edward, I would be in a good mood. The sun made me happy.

I washed my face, scrubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I brushed out the knots in my hair and, surprisingly, my hair obeyed my wishes. I decided that I should do something nicer with it today since I could tame it and it couldn't help to look a little nice. Pulling up the top half of my hair, I decided to fashion it into a braid. That way, half of it was pulled back out of my eyes while it still hung down.

I glanced at the mirror and grimaced. My eyes were too bright and alert and my creamy skin glowed way beyond what I thought was normal. I had to stop this foolishness now. It would do no good to anticipate anything.

After picking out my clothes—I decided on jeans, an off-white tank top and an ivory sweater—I skipped, all too happily, down the stairs and into the kitchen. My more rational side decided on cereal. I concentrated on chewing to try to calm sporadic heart. It worked for two minutes.

I quickly washed the bowl and spoon and dashed upstairs to brush my teeth. Twice. I was not going to have bad breath, especially because Edward always smelled so good. I had to try and shorten the gap somehow.

Right when I reached the door, I heard a quiet knock from the other side. It startled me so much, my heat skipped a few beats. I took a deep, calming breath before opening the door.

There was Edward, in all of his inhuman gloriousness. His tousled bronze hair, his perfect white skin, his golden eyes…I lost myself in those eyes.

"Good morning," he greeted me with his musical voice, giving me a dazzling crooked smile. How I loved that smile.

I had to muster all my strength to mutter out a "Good morning" in response.

"Are you ready to go?"

I nodded my head, unable to speak at the moment.

He turned around, freeing me from his golden stare. I was both relieved and disappointed about that. My eyes drifted down to the rest of his body. Like me, he had jeans, a collared shirt, and a sweater, except they were different shades of gray. They fit him perfectly.

True to his word, he made his way over to my old truck instead of his Volvo, which was parked by the trees. He opened the driver's door for me before walking gracefully to the other side. What a gentleman.

Edward directed me through the forest on a little-used highway. I concentrated on the road as best as I could, but it was difficult when I could feel Edward's gaze in me. He didn't try to start a conversation. He just looked at me.

I pulled up on the side of the road specifically made for hikers. No one was parked today. Edward beat me to the door and helped me out, a grin tugging at the corners of his perfect lips.

"Is this it?" I asked.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "No. we have to walk a ways before we get there." He smiled my favorite smile and my heart raced.

He took my hand in his icy one and led me to a trail that twisted into the woods. Usually I would be terrified of walking in there where I could trip over anything, but the expression on Edward's face told me that he would never let anything happen to me. I followed him without a backward glance.

We walked through the trees slowly and carefully for my sake, Edward the epitome of patience. He gave his hand for support whenever I needed it, always accompanying it with a crooked grin that dazzled me every time. The sun shone through the thick canopy of the leaves, giving the forest floor a green tint. It was beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as the person walking in front of me, stealing backwards glances.

I saw the trees thinning ahead and I knew we had reached our destination. What was beyond the trees, however, I had no idea.

Edward looked back at me one last time and flashed an ultrawhite smile. "We're here," he announced. He took my hand to guide me in front of him. I stepped out of the forest.

I was looking at a white sandy beach. The sun made each individual grain shine like a diamond. The waves rolled across the shore gently, as if they were caressing it. The wind blew across my face and I could smell the clean sea air.

I turned around just in time to watch Edward step out of the shadows and into the full force of the sunlight.

He transformed right under my eyes. His skin became flushed and lightly tanned. His eyes turned from a warm topaz to a brilliant green. Only his mussed bronze hair stayed the same. Even his facial features changed. Not in a bad way. He just seemed…more human.

I pried my eyes away from his face to look at the rest of him. He was no longer wearing the clothes he wore earlier. Instead, he was clad in brown trousers held up by suspenders and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing golden forearms. A pair of sturdy brown boots covered his feet and a gray paddy cap rested on his head. He looked like he came out of the 30s or 40s. Just like his face, his body was not as angular and impossibly beautiful. He was all human, but still the most handsome person I had ever seen. He was still Edward.

He smiled tentatively at me and shrugged his shoulders. "Notice the difference? I can't exactly walk around Forks like this."

It finally hit me. "This is how you were when you were human," I whispered.

He nodded once. "But I'm still a vampire." His emerald eyes showed a deep longing that I'd never seen before. His hand began to reach up towards me, but restrained and balled it into a white-knuckled fist.

Edward motioned to me to sit down in the sand near him. I did, my eyes never leaving him.

"It's so hard to explain," he began. "I'm afraid I will scare you away and lose you forever.

'you already know about my…thirst for human blood. Including yours. I feel it not only as a physical hunger, but also as an emotion. For so long I only felt that whenever I looked t a human. That is, until I met you."

My breath caught. I couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. They were too good to be true.

"There is still the thirst. There will always be the thirst," he added darkly. "But there are other feelings. Feelings I've never had before.

"I can't stand it when you're hurt or in danger. When you're unhappy, my still heart breaks a thousand times over. When you smile, I want to jump for joy.

"I am mist content when I'm near you." He chuckled. "Biology has become my favorite class. Whenever I'm not with you, I torment myself wondering about what you're doing, what you're thinking. _I can't take my mind off you._'" He whispered the last sentence.

"My brothers and sisters think I'm crazy. They don't understand why I can't leave you. I don't think I understand why. There's something about you…" His emerald eyes grew distant lost in thought. "I have never been so concerned about one person in my entire existence. My parents think…that it's love." Edward looked up from the ground and eyed me carefully, searching my face for a hint of displeasure. He really thought I was going to run away. That was the last thing I would do.

"I want to be with you," he continued, "but I don't want to hurt you. And I am afraid that I will. I've tried hunting more and it holds off the burning in my throat whenever we are close."

"Like now?" I asked.

"Like now," he confirmed. "But I think I can do it. I couldn't bear to hurt you." He reached out slowly and placed his hand, still cold but now tanned, on mine resting on my knee. His fingers curled and his thumb 

rubbed soft circles on the back of my hand. The touch was cold, but not uncomfortable. My blood was pounding in my veins and burning my skin. I was sure he could feel that.

My response came all too easily. "I'm afraid, too. I have emotions running through me that I've never felt before. I find myself impatient for lunch and biology so I can see you. I look for you every day. And when you're not there, my heart breaks.

"I'm afraid that one day you won't be here anymore. That this is some kind of dream. And I'm afraid that I shouldn't want to be with you so much—even though I do—and you might stop me." I kept my eyes down on our hands, tan on cream.

Edward's other hand reached up to my face and curled his fingers around my jaw with his cool palm against my cheek. I automatically leaned my head towards his touch and closed my eyes.

"I don't think I _can_ stop."

I opened my eyes again when he said this and found his glorious human face only inches from mine. But I didn't flinch, even though I was surprised. I lost myself in his emerald gaze.

Once again, I found myself compelled to speak my mind. "What will happen now? Is this supposed to be a secret? What will your family think? Charlie? Can he ever know? How do relationships like this work? I don't know what to do," I muttered miserably.

A smile pulled at his mouth, but his eyes were apologetic. "I don't know what will happen. My family already knows and my parents approve. Chief Swan can know about _us_, but not about _me_, as with everyone else." He could feel my heart continue to thud in my chest and see the worry still etched in my brown eyes. "Shh, Bella. Don't worry. This is in your hands. If you want me, I'm here." He stroked my cheek soothingly with his thumb.

"But what about your," I gulped, "thirst?"

He smiled my favorite crooked smile. It was almost rueful. I was dazzled. "Right now, and as long as I hunt often, the only thirst I have is to be near you."

Edward sat there silently, still touching my hand and face, to let me take it all in. I really had the power to say no. but that was the last thing on my mind. He loved me as I loved him. I had to wonder what I did right in my life to deserve him.

I forced myself to look directly at him. "I want to be with you," I whispered.

His face flooded with pure joy. Just seeing him happy made me happy. Maybe this was what it felt to love and be loved unconditionally, for I had a feeling that this was no ordinary teenage romance.

Water licked at my feet. I looked to the ocean to find that the tide was coming in and we were closer to the water than I'd thought. Surprisingly, it wasn't freezing. It was the perfect temperature.

Edward frowned at the oncoming water. His hands left me as he moved to get up. I wanted none of that, especially when his touch left me. "No," I protested, reaching up to take his hand. "Can't we stay and wade in the water? It's so nice."

He was more than willing to comply.

Using my free hand, I untied my shoes and put my socks in them. I threw them as far as I could toward the trees. Hopefully, the tide wouldn't rise too high, because the shoes didn't travel very far. After rolling up my jeans to my knees, I stretched out my legs to the ocean, letting the water rush over me. I lowered myself so that I rested on my elbows and tilted my head back to the sun, smiling at its warmth. The whole time, Edward's eyes never left me.

I left my trance and stared back at him, smiling self consciously. "What?"

He grinned back and reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "You look so beautiful in the sunlight."

I blushed furiously and looked down at the sand. I noticed that Edward hadn't taken off his shoes. They were getting soaked. I asked him about it.

"I can't," he replied. "I can't take off anything and in turn, nothing ever gets worn or ruined."

"Why?"

"If I do, that part of my body disappears."

I sat up straight, concern enveloping me. "Like invisible?" My voice raised an octave.

Edward shook his head. "No. It disappears completely, as if it wasn't there at all. I don't know why. It just happens." He scrutinized my face. "But don't worry. I can always put it right back where it should be and my body is back to normal." His eyes twinkled humorously.

Suddenly, my hand had a mind of its own. It reached up and stretched so that the tips of my fingers touched his cheekbone. It was smooth and hard and cold, but electrifying. I heard his breath stop, but a smile pulled slightly at his lips. I enjoyed every precious moment while I caressed first his cheek, then his brow and eyes, and finally his mouth. I had imagined doing this for months, but this experience was so blissful that it seemed surreal.

And all the while, the waves came closer and closer, rhythmically creeping higher up our legs. It was music to my ears, completely in time with mine and Edward's breathing.

I didn't know how long we were in that trance, lost in each other and the ocean rising and falling, drenching our pants. But we didn't care. It was comforting, to say the least. Too soon, the waves receded and the sun set lower to the horizon, turning the water shades of orange and red.

I sighed contently. "It's so beautiful. Today was perfect, Edward. Thank you." I reached up to stroke the side of his face. He leaned in to my hand. "I wish it could never end. That we could stop time right now and stay here as long as we wanted."

He chuckled softly. "I wish so, too, but we must go. What will Chief Swan think if you don't come home on time?" His eyes twinkled humorously.

Taking my hands, Edward rose and helped me up to my feet. We walked back to the car, hand in hand the whole time. I let him drive back and he held on to my hand still, looking at me and barely keeping his eyes on the road. I wasn't worried, though. I trusted Edward completely.

He opened the car door for me and took my hand to help me out, flashing me another dazzling smile. By now, the sun had set and he returned to his normal, godly, beautiful vampire self. If that was ever normal.

We walked up the stairs and stopped in front of the door, turning to each other. Edward put his fingers under my chin to tilt my head up stroked my chin. "I love you," he murmured to me. They were the truest words I had ever heard in my life.

I definitely didn't want to go inside now. "And I love you," I replied. I meant it, too.

We stared at each other, not wanting to leave. Edward smirked. "Your father will be home soon. I should probably go."

I had to agree on that one, despite how much my heart was protesting. The less Charlie knew, the better. "Okay," I sighed, not bothering to hide my disappointment.

I fumbled for my keys and unlocked the door. I could still feel Edward beside me.

"Bella?"

I whirled towards him, excited that he still wanted to talk to me. He placed both hands on either side of my face, ever so gently, and leaned towards me to plant his cold stone lips on my forehead sweetly. I breathed in his intoxicating scent and was suddenly very dizzy. His hands on my burning cheeks kept me on my feet.

"See you Monday."

And with that, he turned swiftly and walked to his car. I watched him drive away until I couldn't see him anymore. I ran into the house, up the stairs, and into my room. I launched myself on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Grinning foolishly, I closed my eyes, caught in ecstasy with the world. Because Edward was the center of mine…

**XXXX**

I opened my eyes to blinding light that flooded my room. It was only a dream. A wishful, unrealistic dream. What a disappointment. I rolled to my side to examine my alarm clock. It was flashing angrily at me, blinking 6:45 again and again. Holy crow! I slept in so late! I ripped of my headset, still blaring Debussy, and rolled out of bed and out the door, stumbling on that same shoe from last night. I paused to catch my breath and calm down.

Sure, I was late. But I was that much closer to seeing Edward.

**A/N: So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Question my sanity? I will only know if you review! To all my Unknown Guest readers: I just got back, a chapter will be up today or tomorrow at the latest. I know it's been almost 3 weeks. Sorry. I'm in a bit of a rut and I don't want to write, even though I know what will happen. I just want to skip to the drama planned (which is in 2 chs!) but I need to suck it up and get the boring stuff out of the way. I will. Promise.**

**--Loie**


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